Monday, January 23, 2012

The Uh-Oh Danger Donut Disaster

Disaster Craft is a blog about learning from mistakes, sharing techniques and shortcuts, and generally poking fun at ourselves while we (Queenie and Briddy) tackle projects that require skills we have developed (or need to develop).  That being said, let me share with you my latest disaster:

On December 9, 2011, I woke up (my eyes were open, but brain function was minimal), put on my bathrobe, and headed downstairs.  Unfortunately, I missed the top stair.

I proceeded to fly through the air in a Charlie Brown missed punt fashion and landed on my back/tailbone about halfway down the staircase.  It knocked the wind out of me and the pain was overwhelming.  I dragged myself to the couch and tried to keep calm enough to wish the kids a good day at school.  As soon as they left I got myself back upstairs and back in bed.  The pain was excruciating and I could not move without my husband's help.  

Fortunately, x-rays showed that it wasn't broken.  But I still had 4-6 weeks of recovery time ahead of me, and those first few weeks I spent laying on my side.  Driving anywhere was impossible, even as a passenger.  I was able to sit at the table for dinner with my family after purchasing my new best friend- the inflatable rubber donut.

Of course, I was embarrassed.  "Everyone is going to think I have hemmorhoids!" I whined to my husband.  

So I did what any crafty gal would do.  I went to the thrift store and bought an ugly sweater to cover my donut.  My hope was that it would make it look less therapeutic.  

I found this extra large sweater at the thrift store:

Isn't it hideous?  But the price was right at $1.50, and considering my selection, one of my more appealing choices.  

So I proceeded to cover the donut:

And voila!  I just knew that people were no longer going to see me as a hemmorhoid victim.  I was now a NASCAR loving hemmorhoid victim.  (It looks like a safety ring they would throw out at the final lap.) 

Okay, so maybe it wasn't inconspicuous (couldn't I say it was Chanel inspired?).  I was eager to put my tender tush on it at dinnertime.  

I was extremely disappointed when I sat down on it.  The beautiful quality of rubber is that once you put your butt on it, it stays put.  Once I covered it in the obnoxious sweater, it slid around like a Jamaican bobsledder at the Olympic trials.  I had just created what a friend referred to as the "Uh-Oh Danger Donut."

So, my donut is plain, but I'm happy to report my rear is recovering beautifully.

1 comment:

  1. When I got to the picture of the extra large sweater I cringed. But, like a train wreck, I had to read on to see how it turned out.